Ginger Root

So I have this huge fear, right?

Every time I see a homosexual I get absolutely terrified. “What is this creature?” I think. “Oh God, it’s coming closer! I must run away before it turns me into one of its kind!”

I’m just so afraid of them, you know? What if they try to convert me? I don’t want to risk destroying my chances of getting pregnant, then married, then divorced in that order. What will happen to the family unit?

(Things that go through conservatives’ minds.)

(I really want to go to JC Penny now.)